child at heart

I love reading the Chinese fortune cookie proverbs… they crack me up sometimes. For instance, mom and I went out to eat the other night and my fortune is as follows: “You will travel to many exotic places in the next few years.” I wonder how many people get things like that and for serious believe that…

But in all honesty I am blessed to be able to go to the uttermost parts of the world for the Lord. My father mentioned to me yesterday that I will have been on 3 different continents before I even turn 21. I never even thought of that. There is of course North America, Europe and now Africa. It’s really cool to think about, yet it kinda terrifies me to be honest.

I kind of don’t want to go to work today, because if I work through this shift then that means it is night time, which means I must go to sleep and wake up to another day. And if it is a new day tomorrow then that means I am one day closer to getting on that plane and leaving. And if I am one day closer to leaving then that means this whole thing is real and it is going to happen in just a few short days. All I can keep thinking of is Luke 12:48 “… Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand more.” And I pray that God will give me the faith that I need to do this, and that I will stop being so fearful of the things I do not know and of the things that could happen but are only what-ifs.

I know this all sounds so stupid, I am sure it does but I know I must go. I cannot ignore this calling on my life. It’s hard to explain but I know I can do nothing else, I MUST go even if I am scared, even if I am weak and even if I am prideful of myself. (By the way in case you didn’t know I AM all of those things.) I could not live with myself if I turned back because of danger and being out of my comfort. Geez… there is so much I want and need to say but I don’t know how to articulate it and get it out. I just know that I have to do this, no questions asked.