child at heart

I hate that its been so long since my last post. It never seems like its been weeks in between them to me. This last week was VBS at our church and it was AMAZING! I now know why I love kids. I only had 4 children but they were the best I could have asked for. I had 2 girls, Mary and Michaela and 2 boys, Stanley and Malique. Here is a link to check out the photos: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=132900471 The Lord used these 4 kids to work in my life and plant seeds in that of other kids around them. Mary even asked about making a profession, and I pray for her and pray that she keeps asking ALL those questions that are coming into her heart.

Secondly, after much thought and LOTS of Godly wisdom in my life I have decided I will be deleting my IMB application and waiting until after I graduate from College to apply again. I just know that if it is going to be such an issue with my father, and if his defensiveness is going to continue to cause me anger then it will be best right now if I just eliminate that problem. I know if the Lord wants me to do missions He will continue to put that into my life and He will work it all out.

The Lord has really put into my life the desire to change my music that I listen to. He has REALLY made it apparent that it is not God honoring and it is a hindrance in my Christian walk. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalms 37:4 Andy, who is a wonderful Godly friend of mine went music shopping with me the other day at work and recommended some good music. I came across a Bebo Norman CD (I love his music anyway) that I ended up getting, I cannot remember what it is called now for the life of me. There is one song on there that really gets to me and makes me almost cry every time I listen to it. On the way home from work yesterday I listened to it like 4 times in a row. Here are the words  :)

“I will lift my eyes”

God, my God, I cry out / Your beloved needs you now / God, be near, calm my fear / And take my doubt / Your kindness is what pulls me up / Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker / Of the mountains I can’t climb / I will lift my eyes to the Calmer / Of the oceans raging wild / I will lift my eyes to the Healer / of the Hurt I hold inside / I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you

God, my God, let Mercy sing / Her melody over me / God, right here all I bring / Is all of me

Cause you are and You were / and You will be forever / The Lover I need to save me / Cause you fashioned the Earth / and You hold it together / God, so hold me now

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”  – James 4:8

I want to continue to ask for prayer about our mission trip. We are only 17 days away and the stress of certain things is starting to eat away at my sanity. There are certain villages that are still very much hostile with other places, and there is still a threat of danger. There are so many different things that could happen to our group as we travel through these areas. If war is declared while we are in those areas we can be captured and taken as POW. Our bus and group can be taken hostage, we could be tortured. Our women in our group can be taken and abused, we could be sold into sex trafficking and the list goes on and on and on. We will not be staying in the part of Kenya where tension is high, but we must travel through that area to get to our destinations.  While the chances of these things happening are slim to none, we are still in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar culture, and the Lord’s will must be done anyway. I am in prayer about this daily, not that I am scared (I am though, but I put all my trust in the Lord) but I pray that if something happens I will have the faith that the Lord calls me to have to withstand those trials for His glory. I pray I will be able to say “it is well with my soul”.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”  – 1 John 4:18

“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.”  – Philippians 1: 27-30

There are hundreds of possibilities of things that could happen to us. Our plane could crash, our bus could crash, we could get one of the diseases overseas, our group could get separated, individuals from our group could get hurt or kidnapped, our hotel could be bombed or ambushed, we could be burned by the climate, get dehydration – honestly, the list is endless. “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord.”  -James 5:7 But the Lord knows it all, and His hand is around us all the time. I know the Holy Spirit is already over there preparing the way for us, whatever that may be. I ask for your prayers for the whole group and for our faith to be strong, and for our hearts to be broken, and for the Lord’s will to be our driving force.

“Instead you ought to say, If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”  -James 4:15

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”  – Hebrews 12: 1-2