child at heart

I never dreamed of being a missionary. I was never the kid that grew up and told my parents that I wanted to travel the world for the Lord. I was the one with my life planned out – to some degree. I just KNEW I wanted to be a vet, then a midwife, and now a counselor for the Lord. But you know if you want to make God laugh you just tell Him your plans…. I know He must laugh a lot when I start talking. The Lord has continued to open doors in my life and now I don’t think I could stop dreaming about being a missionary. I seriously doubt I could look away from that and not want to be a part of it. (missions that is) The Lord has called me to mission work – how long, what kind, where to – these are questions I do not have answers for… but I know that I could not imagine living my life all planned out and miss out on all the adventures of being a missionary. So I’ve come full circle in a short 20 years. How funny is that?

But I think God has been preparing me for this step in my life. I’ve always been real carefree and I just flow with the changes in life. For example: let’s change what I want to do when I grow up about 20 times, I was prepared to go to AUM for my undergraduate work and then 1 month before classes started I just up and changed EVERYTHING to go to Faulkner, I had been at CFA for 3 years then up and decided to quit and go to Lifeway… along with about 10,000 other changes in my life. God knew living a life like this: I want to be married by 23, have 3.5 kids by 30, 2 girls 1 boy, white picket fence and a dog – was NOT my life and I was made for something more than that monotonous lifestyle. (I AM NOT saying this is bad for those who have this lifestyle or that it is a sin – I am just saying THIS IS NOT my lifestyle and something I am not called for.)

This is my scripture inspiration: He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the Earth.”  – Acts 1:7-8 I found a sticky note in my bible on this verse with the following written on it: ‘not to know when i will not longer be single or married, barren or with child, not to know when i will be pampered or suffer. not to know when i will die. because i do not know these times i shall expect them to be soon and live the gospel as if i will die today. do not expect more time.’

Of course this one too: But how are they to call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”  – Romans 10: 14-15 My mom and I got on this subject tonight and had some really deep conversations. Her biggest fear / concern / uneasiness / not sure exactly is that I will go on this trip, come back and have such a burden and desire for missions that I leave and do missions and leave her. She feels this way because she lives so far away from her parents and doesn’t get to see them much – and it is hard on her… but she said she doesn’t want (if it comes down to that) that to be a hindrance on me and the Lord’s calling in my life if I feel that He is really pulling me to that road. She said her whole peace and comfort would be in the fact that I WAS in deed doing the Lord’s work and she would know that I was on the right track.

And the peace de la resistance: And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” This is the main reason I go across seas for this mission work. Although I want it known that I still do missions here and there are people here in the States that have been just as much called to stay and do missions here as I have been called to go and do missions there. If I did not go there like I was called then I would be disobeying – but I will not ignore a mission opportunity here in Montgomery if the Lord calls me to that either.

Either way I am in love with missions… and I only foresee this love growing even more after June 25th.

By the way Joey graduates in 3 days – my LITTLE brother will be a High School graduate… and I am so proud of him. :) Thank God for the little victories right?