child at heart

This is sure to be a total run around of a blog. I do not have a certain purpose in it, just wanting to write for some reason.

Dad has a come home date from Korea. It is set for September 24th, but I would be lying if I said I was not expecting him earlier. I think we may have some tom foolery going on and he may just show up a bit earlier. I could be completely wrong. But we shall just wait and see.

Weight Watchers is going good for me. I normally hover around the -5 lb mark for a couple of weeks, get discouraged and quit. On any “diet” I am on. I think I like WW so much because it is NOT a diet. It is simply changing your eating habits for life. It does not say you cannot indulge. It just says be smart and do it in moderation. And that is where I get in trouble, so I do enjoy that it has a point limit for the day and extras for the week so I will not go overboard and unconsciously sabotage myself. Anyway, I did hover for a couple of weeks and 2 weeks I even gained some weight back. I think it was the fact that I was doing cardio AND weights 5/6 days a week so I was building so much muscle that my weight was never really changing even though I was loosing inches. I decided to stick with an hour of cardio 5/6 days a week and do weights only 2. And that has seemed to help a bunch. I am almost to the -10 pounds mark. As of Tuesday I was at -8 so I think a 2 pound drop is pretty reasonable for the next 2 weeks, and definitely attainable in September. That will put me at loosing 5% of my body weight!

This week in particular has been incredibly trying on the nanny front. There has not really been anything so different to set this week apart. I have just hit a mental wall I think. Little things are setting me over the edge, and I have found several times that I put the kids in the back yard with me to watch them play and I have just sort of sat back. Not getting in the play with them because I needed a break. I am not sure what it is. G is getting close to the 2 stage and has already started the whining, stubbornness that comes along with it. I think that is part of the issue actually. It is just more trying.

E took 2 unaided steps earlier this week. No luck in getting her to repeat since then but she is cruising and standing on her own a lot more than last week so I think we are really close to having 2 walkers in this house. I think it will be more fun for the 2 of them because they will be able to play and interact with each other even more than they do now. Plus, our opportunities for leaving will be so much greater. ASF children’s section, parks (where E can actually do something other than just sitting in the swing), more interactive playdates… the list is suddenly bigger for the three of us.

Another month closer to moving. Sometime soon I should be going before our pastor body about that. No specific date yet (on the meeting or moving other than June 2012) but please be in prayer for both accounts. And that God will continue to guide me and open or close the doors as needed.

Joey and Laura are getting more serious. I love it. He wants a steady job so bad so he can start looking at rings and they can start looking at a life together. She really is perfect for him and she keeps him in check. He really has grown up because of being with her. While he is still goofy at times, he has started thinking about things of the future. And of having a family. It is strange all of a sudden seeing him this way. Where did my little brother go? While I get sad and upset sometimes seeing them together, because I so badly want to be at that stage in my life, I do not envy him and am not jealous. I see how happy they are. And that makes me happy. Honestly.

I have begun to feel like my life is trivial. Please do not ask me to describe what I mean by this because I do not even know honestly. I just have these random thoughts now and again that my being here and doing the things I do is pointless. Worthless. I am not making a difference in anyone’s life. But then I am to lazy to do serious self reflection and figure out why that is. Or what I could be doing to change it. I do not know. It is a strange thing going on in my head.

Saturday I will be run/walking another 5k for the boys and girls club here in Montgomery. I am excited but nervous. I have put my running efforts onto a pedestal. I do know that. I want to badly to do better than my time in May and know I will be unhappy with myself if I come up even or even worse. I cannot understand why I do this to myself. So I have overly pushed myself in the gym this last month. And I am not convinced that this is not why I was so sick for a week. Probably overdid myself. Like I said – stubborn to my  core.

I am still on my Star Trek kick for spare time amusement. It has become one of my favorite shows now. Who would have guessed right? I am not sure how much more my nerd level can go on the topic of Star Trek, but I have no doubt in myself that I will find another way to knock the level up a bit more.

I also downloaded this past week the Tron: Legacy soundtrack. A) If you have not watched the original Tron I do not think we can be friends. You need to fix that void in your life and then we can re-evaluate things. B) You need to watch Tron: Legacy next. It is pretty much the jam. C) You NEED (no joke) to get this album. It is by Daft Punk and it is one of the best albums I have heard in a good while. I love it. Perfect amount of upbeat techno – which I love for working out, and softer orchestral music – which is great for chill time. I love the mixture of the music. Greatness. Period.

Wow, I hit over 1100 words on this post. Just by typing the random things on my mind. In about 10 minutes. I guess that shall be all then.