child at heart

do you ever feel like a total idiot when you are in the moment of something? you let excitement get the best of you and then you feel like you acted a dern fool? i did (and do often) especially tonight. i was really excited to see a friend for the first time in months and nearly mowed him over to get a hug. then felt extremely shy and awkward afterward about it. like i hid off to the side after that and would rarely make eye contact with him when we were talking later. it was wierd. and i was uncomfortable in myself in that exact moment. and i dont know why i felt like that anyways. it was excitement but it felt kinda wrong. bleh, who knows. my emotions have been kinda wierd lately. maybe its because im so happy about being with grafton starting on monday, or that my little brother is with someone amazing and they make each other so happy. maybe its because my birthday is this weekend and im getting older. or maybe its God trying to tell me something and im to daft to figure it out.

i dont really know the whole purpose of this post anyway, i just needed to vent a little i think.