child at heart

I just realized its been forever since my last post. The Lord has been doing so much in my sinful life. I am almost to $1,000 raised for my Kenya trip!!! PRAISE THAT!! Plus my passport should be coming in the mail within the next couple weeks, and Lord willing I will be starting my series of Hep. shots this week. It’s crazy to me how the Lord can just pull EVERYTHING together in such a short amount of time. I just feel like I am in a whirlwind with this mission trip (although I am NOT complaining), I can just get so overwhelmed so easily.

This whole thing started out as just a dream, I thought it would be so neat to spend my summer doing missions and I felt like the Lord was calling me, although to me I THOUGHT it would be like our week long trip to M-Fuge that the youth takes every year. Then this opportunity came up at school and I mentioned it to my parents almost as a joke but told them I would go to the first meeting just so I could say I tried… then IT ALL HAPPENED! The Lord was like this is NOT a joke to me, this is sharing me to the darkness in the world and you MUST go! At that point I was still fighting him because I really wanted to go to M-Fuge with the youth and be involved with them. I just kept thinking Kenya was just on my mind because it was something so unique and it was what I wanted, not the Lord. Then so many magazines came into work talking about Kenya and the mission field, people were mentioning things about Africa missions and I had not even talked to anyone else about it yet… and now I’m here.. leaving in under 120 days, oh my gosh now that I see that it kind of freaks me out. It really is so close. That is so insane.  This song has become the cry of my heart.

I can’t stand the sound / Of losing control / But whenever you’re around
I can’t find the breath to speak at all / I need you to be careful with me…

Please don’t go away / Please don’t leave me here / I know if you don’t stay
My heart will disappear… / I need beautiful you

Your love brings me in / And swallows me whole / But underneath your skin
Is the only peace I know / All that I need is you here with me…

Please don’t go away / Please don’t leave me here / I know if you don’t stay
My heart will disappear… / I need beautiful you