child at heart

Geez it’s been a month since my last post, thats crazy and totally uncalled for since you peeps are waiting on me to update this about my trip! SHAME on me.

7/11/08 – Day 17

“Dont let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”  – 1 Timothy 4:12

Today started off well even though we got off to a late start. We didnt even get to KTC until about 9, and everyone was already singing when we got there. When we got to KTC we got ready to start our Joseph drama, which went off very well! The parts we didnt practice turned out better than we all thought it would. The youth paid very close attention to the story, and even laughed about it alot. Daniel did a great job narrating and Clay’s lessons turned out wonderful.

After our little spiel we had about a 10 minute break to use the restroom and do last minute practice for their drama’s. We had 2 groups do their drama’s that went VERY good, but alot longer than we thought they would be. I think we are going to try to do more later if the groups are ready.

Right now everyone is watching the first tough choices video. Most of the people look interested, so I think we will have a good discussion time later. Personally I don’t think this movie would go over well at all at home but it may be different with the youth here.

Today has been rough because I am so tired. I did not sleep well at all last night. I kept waking up every 45 minutes, I am not sure if it was stress from planning the youth meeting, nerves for how today would be, or stress because I finally talked to mom and planned surgery for the week I get back home. Maybe it was just a mixture of all of those. Either way I am pretty sure I will sleep very well tonight.

Our day is really not going as we planned. After the movie we had a short lunch and we are now watching a second video about the people f rom the first movie. I believe after this we are going to have some discussion about the tough choices she has made in the 2 videos. Hopefully we can still fit everything into the day.

Our girls discussion did not go very well at all. It was like talking to a brick wall. No one asked questions and they didnt engage us in the conversation at all. The boy’s went very well according to Clay. They asked alot of questions and had a little participation. I think our biggest problem was that our girls were very young.

After our chai breaks we are going to finish the drama’s and then Clay will do his last lesson and we will be done for the day. Maybe we will have enough  time to take a nap before supper. I think Travis and Lauren are supposed to meet us tonight, although I could be wrong. They will be with us through the end of the trip.

Yesterday when Makena was leaving KTC she came over, shook my hand, gave me a hug, kissed both my cheeks and said “I love you my daughter”. I thought I was going to bust out crying right then. (Which I sucessfully did as I was typing this) Our bonding day meant alot more to her than I thought it did. It made me feel really good, and I know it is going to be hard to tell her goodbye for good when this trip is over. Those are the kinds of relationships I was praying God would bless me with from this trip.

Yep, I was wrong. Travis and Lauren meet us tomorrow night. Clay’s lesson turned out extremely well. He seemed to have a really good time giving it and everyone paid alot of attention to everything he was saying. After his lesson we sang a song and prayed and was done. We got everyone to stand on the steps and hold the “Love me” sign for a picture for the World Missions Workship. The picture turned out great! :)

Everyone mingles for a while. You could tell that no one wanted to say goodbye, and we most deffinatly did not want to leave. We hung out for a while and I talked with my good friend Jackeline. I promised her I would be back next year (I know that’s a big order!) unless I died first and went to heaven. She told me she would pray that would not happen. I told her don’t pray that – I would be in a much better place.

When we finally left, our group went to Nakumatt to use the internet. I was able to check my email and get on facebook and talk to mom. She was so excited to talk to me for even just a little bit. I had like 4 emails from dad, it was really funny to read all of them. He really misses me, but I will be home in only 11 days. When we got back to the hotel it was having random blackouts again, so we hung out and ate supper half by light and half by candle light. As I am writing the overhead is flickering on and off. Its so fun to me, its like camping – but in a building. I feel so safe!

Our final number count of teens here today was 73!!! Holy mess! God is so so so good! The Lord is doing some really great things here. I’ve never met a group of people so hungry for the word. They are trying their hardest to study the bible in English, which they view as the language of education. I already cant wait to be back here next summer. This feels right. I really feel the burden of missions on my soul. I still dont know where He wants me but I know His hand is in my life and I will not have an ordinary one. I cannot wait to start missions in my life!

I really in all honesty do not miss home at all. There is nothing really (except maybe home cooking) that is calling my name. I feel like the Lord is putting His hands of comfort and peace over me during this trip. I feel like I could just write for days but I know I would be rambling and saying the same things over and over.

Tomorrow we are doing a CBS at KTC, I am super excited about it and I pray we have a decent number of kid’s show up.

I am going to have such a hard time leaving. I already know I am going to cry like crazy!

7/12/08 – Day 18

Today was a crazy long day. Since our CBS was at KTC we got to sleep in until 9ish! After breakfast while we waited to leave we made bracelets so we would have enough for today, it’s really interesting to watch Daniel and Clay make all those bracelets.

When we finally got to KTC there were only a handful of kids so we hung around with them and set everything up. While we were waiting on more kids we decided to play the “Father Abraham” song. They loved it! I even got quite alot of video from our singing/dancing session. Eventually more children showed up, I believe our count was somewhere in the neighborhood of 50-55. It was a good day.

Once we finally got started everything ended up great. The kids payed attention to our stories and were able to answer all our questions about the stories. They even did a wonderful job with making their crafts. The kids at this place are so incredibly smart. They are obviously getting very good education. During our CBS there was a little girl in a dress who couldnt have been anymore than 2, that decided not once, but twice to squat in the middle of the floor and pee. And this was not like a drop or two, it was an all out waterfall of urine. It really is a good thing that the floors of the buildings here are either dirt or concrete. After the CBS John’s oldest daughter, Purity, decided she wanted to braid my hair.

That was an all out bad idea. She did ok for being not a professional and being so young but it really was not something to be proud of. I looked like coolio when he decided he wanted braids. They were all different sizes and they stuck out from everywhere on my head. I felt bad that she spent so much time working on them so I left them in for a little while. I looked like a big old retard. By the way, nicky hocked a big old loogie on my today at CBS. He didnt like the fact that I stopped him from hitting the other kids. He is working on my last nerve.

When we left KTC we headed on over to the Budget supermarket. Yes, at this point I still had my wonderful braids in so all kinds of people were staring at me and laughing. It was ok because I am secure enough in myself to walk around like a retard. When we got there I stocked up on my suka count so I not have all the suka’s I need for gifts. It wasnt really to expensive. I got 8 for only 1800 shillings, so less than $30. While I was there I picked up a juice box and some crackers. Little did I know how much that was going to come in handy.

When I walked out to the car there was a street boy who was hovering around the van. He had his bottle hidden in his coat arm but he was still huffing on it. Everyone else quickly got into the van and ignored the boy, which is what I did at first. Then I started to feel really bad and I could feel the Lord pricking my heart telling me to help the boy as much as I could. Everyone in the van gave me a really wierd and confused look when I opened the door and started talking to the boy. I pulled out the juice box and  crackers and showed them to him and asked for his bottle. He kind of looked appalled that I would ask for it and he reached out for the snacks. I shook my head and sternly said “No, bottle now.” He finally handed it to me and I gave him the snacks. I’m pretty sure he had probably gotten another bottle by now but in that moment I did something, I made a difference and God worked through me. I prayed for him then and I pray for him now. That gave me a little hope that just a little love and effort could do so much for those children. It just breaks my heart that they have resorted to that lifestyle as a way to get away from their pain in life.

Once we left that store we went to the little shops with material thats next to a tailor. We had been there once before. I picked out some really pretty material. Daniel, Clay and myself are all getting shirts made by a tailor. They should be ready on Friday. I am so excited about it. I’m excited that its going to be made to fit me exactly, with the material I picked out! After we left the tailors shop we had some time to kill so we drove into the closest forest. We passed the Trull’s first house here in Meru.It was adorable from what I could see. We ended up driving into the forest and seeing some really neat things. Trees with leaves as big as our heads, tons of parasite trees, we saw coffee and tea being grown side by side which dosen’t happen normally for elevation reasons.

As we were driving we came to a clearing with a beautiful view of 2 waterfalls. Emily and I climbed into a tree that puts you out over the edge of a cliff so we could see better. The view was breathtaking. The hills all around it were littered with crops like banana’s and forest. There was even a visible little path on the side of a hill. It was something that looked like would be on a nature painting. The waterfall itself was gorgeous. It was beautiful blue water falling out of lushious green trees onto the bottom of the huge hill. The water fell into a rock laden ravine. It was beautiful with blue, white and blacks all mixed together. I swear I was looking into a spot meant only for God to see. I believe it was a place God created for His own happiness, and it was amazing to even get a glimpse of that creation. If I was not with a group I could have sat in that tree for hours watching God’s creation giving Him glory. I dont think Ive ever seen anything more glorious, I was almsot crying when we had to leave.

Once we got back to the hotel Dr. Trull and Emily headed out to pick up Lauren and Travis. The rest of us stayed at the hotel and had supper, killed time and called home as we waited for everyone to make it home safely. I talked to dad and joey for a while, it was good to hear from everyone. After a little while I got to talk to mom and even Brooke! It was so good to hear Brooke’s  voice. I feel so privaleged to talk to everyone at home.

Everyone showed up at home just a little after 11p. I think Travis and Lauren are going to be very fun to be around, and I think Lauren is going to be able to teach me alot. The two of them have such a heart for the Lord. After being married for only 3 weeks they came over here to Africa for mission work. Their plan is to go home a couple days after we do and stay for 2 years so Travis can get his Master’s and then they will move back here to Africa. I want a husband like that who has such a heart for missions like I do.

7/13/08 – Day 19

Our trip is coming so close on the end. It saddens me to know in 1 week we will be preparing to come home. Unless the Lord calls me home first I will be back next summer to this wonderful place. I was talking to Dr. Trull today and we are going to go to a bookstore some time this week so I can get at least a Swahili bible and possibly even a Kimeru one as well. I plan on using it to study so I can learn the native language of the people here so next summer I can talk to them. The Lord has really put a burden on my heart. I am also going to look at other opportunities next summer to visit other parts of Africa. I havent told the parents that yet, but I know I have to do it.

Today we went to church really close by. I think our drive was only about 20 or 30 minutes away. When we got there only about 10 kids and 5 adults were there. We mingled for about 10 minutes before church. The church was very cute. It was made out of wood and tin, a tin roof and dirt floord. Coming to these churches makes me know how much we put into the churches at home versus the body of Christ. Things are just so different here. The view here was wonderful. The church was set on a side slope of a hill. If you looked out from the hill you could see for miles. There were fruit trees on the hill that led all the way down to the flat plains that were sectioned off by homemade barbedwire fences. In the little sections you could see sheep and cows grazing. If you looked farther still you could see a tree line that acted like a barrier and led into more trees. Far off in the distance you could see Meru town.

Once church started we sang 4 songs or so to get into the spirit of worship. After the singing quite a few people showed up, including alot of kids. The pastor then led a really short sermon because he wanted to make sure we had enough time to teach the kids. Today he mentioned the following verses: Numbers 6:22-27, Isaiah 48:17-18, Malachi 3:6. The Malachi verses were read before tithe was given. We sang a song as people walked up front and dropped their money into the bucket. After that we prayed for the tithe, and read this verse to get ready for the Lord’s supper: Matthew 26:26-29. All the people who were not children and had accepted the Lord took the elements and we prayed.

After church service was over we set things up for CBS. We ended up having about 46 kids present today. :) CBS went over very well, the kids seemed to love our drama’s more than any church we have been to yet. They really payed attention to the stories, and I think the kids got almost every question right on the first try. I felt bad because we had about 30 bracelets made and Mrs. Marinda said we would have about 20 kids so I really wanted to give each child a bracelet but we did not have enough.

The children here seem to be fed really well spiritually. They knew the bible stories really well. Well, they listened very intently, they did not seem to doze off or anything. I think this group was very hungry and were blessed to be at a church that could meet those needs. Over all I must say the churches here are very doctrinally sound, and they are raising up a God fearing generation. The world needs lots of those kids.

John’s 2 daughters came with us today and I think they got alot more out of today’s CBS.

After the lesson we all sat around and visited around a nice hot cup of chai and peeled sweet potatoes. I really enjoyed the man who was the pastor. He really loved the Trull’s as well as had a big burden for the Lord. He started crying when he was praying for us and our safety as we were leaving. I even got a bit chocked up. It’s getting harder for me to leave these people every day.

After we left the church we drove around and dropped everyone off at their homes, and we headed over to the internet cafe so people could do what they needed to do. We decided to have a field trip and eat at the resteraunt next to the cafe. While we waited I went over to Nakumarr and picked up 2 books: Blood river by Tim Butcher, Wangari Maathai unbowed. So far they both seem VERY interesting. I started reading Blood River and it has really sparked my interest.

After super we all piled into the van to head back to the hotel. When I got in I noticed a roach on the seat so I was kinda paranoid, then one started crawling up my leg and I was done! I freaked and screamed and jumped up and down. Needless to say people were staring at me and I thought Lacee was going to poop herself she was laughing so hard. Grr- Corinne with her voodoo magic made them attack me because I laughed at her yesterday when they were crawling on her. I need to go and pack. We are headed off to the gamepark at 6a tomorrow until Tuesday afternoon. I am so excited! It is going to be a rather amazing thing, althought I am not too excited about getting up at 5.30a in the morning…. poo.

I heard this song on Emily’s i-pod tonight and I kind of feel this way and I kind of don’t.

Home – Michael Buble
Another summer day / has come and gone away / In paris and rome / but I want to go home / Maybe surrounded by / a million people I / still feel all alone / just want to go home / I miss you, you know
Ive been keeping all the letters / that I wrote to you / each a line or two / I’m fine baby, how are you / well I should send them but I know / Its just not enough / my words were cold and flat / and you deserve more than that
another air plane, another sunny place / Im lucky I know / but I want to go home / Ive got to go home
let me go home / Im just to far / from where you are / I want to come home
and I feel just like Im living / someone elses life / its like I just stepped outside / when everything was going right / and I know just why you could not come / along with me / this was not your dream / but you always believed in me
another winter day / has come and gone away / in either paris or rome / and I want to go home / let me go home
and Im surrounded by / a million people I still feel alone / let me go home / oh I miss you, you know / let me go home / Ive had my run / baby im done / I got to go home / let me go home / it will be alright / I’ll be home tonight / Im coming back home

Like I said earlier I dont know how to explain it. I love this place and everything about it, the people, the culture, the scenery, the dedicated faith – but its just not home, not yet. I think it would be find if I knew I was staying here. I dont want to leave this place, but I also dont want to stay. Its so dang complicated! I dont like feeling this way at all. I guess the Lord will work everything out right? Maybe I just dont have enough faith? Or am I believing the lies of the greatest deciever?

Lord, please comfort me uneasy and troubled mind. Please guide my heart and help me to walk ONLY in your ways. I want to bring glory to your name but I continue to fail. I am so sorry.