child at heart

It never fails, every christmas while we are either decorating the tree or the house someone in our family is in an ill mood and makes the whole night stink for everyone else. While we have made this into a joke for our family it really does bother me every year and makes me dread decorating. I love hanging up lights around our house every year but instead of being around other people to do it I have gotten to the point where I like to point on music and do it my self. This year, as well as last year it has been my mother in the ill mood. While I can understand the holidays may be sad for her because her mother passed away and she is never near her father (he lives in California) it does not mean make the day miserable for the rest of us. She even said she has an idea of how the holiday’s should be and ours are never like that… well then please be happy and excited for the traditions and things we have made for our family and help enjoy those. Why not enjoy the time with the family and not remembering the past and be miserable? Focus on the things we are doing and it will not be that bad. It gets to the point that I cannot wait until I move out because I will be able to make traditions and memories that do not include fighting and unhappiness around christmas time.

Tonight my brother and I went out and got some of the mesh lights that are made for bushes to put around the base of our tree. I could not find plain white ones so we bought the colored ones… I think its looks cute but both mom and joey said “I think it looks white trash and it is going to look worse when we put up the white lights around the base of the tree and on the house”. Mom even said I wish you just hadn’t bought any at all. Way to ruin my fun in decorating the tree.

I guess this post was just my venting about the  anger? bitterness? unhappiness? of christmas time in our home. I’m not sure any of those fit my mood but I sure know I am not excited about the night. Does anyone else have a family this way or are we just dysfunctional? I know I should just ignore her moods and not let it ruin my night but I can’t help but let it. Any advice?